Unrequited like?!?

Being a divorced woman, like most (I suspect) I can have pretty low self-esteem at times, but in general I think I’m a pretty good catch. I’m educated, sexy, charming, pretty good in bed (or so I’ve been told) and I’ve learned some things from my marriage and romantic interactions since that has me excited about my future in the love department.

I’m a working mom with pretty active kids, but as they get older I realize more and more than it’s important that I have a life, too. So I’ve started to do just that, and I’m recording some of my exploits in this blog.

So, now I have a bit of a dilemma. I like someone very much, but I’m not so sure how he feels about me.

Then, there’s someone who likes me, but I’m not sure how I feel about him.

Now, we’ve all heard of this happening before. I’ve been on both sides of this situation a couple of times — even during the last couple of years of my marriage, but never AT THE SAME TIME.

I’ve talked about the guy I like a lot in previous posts: he’s attractive, smart, funny, a gentleman and turns out, a pretty good lover. I feel a serious, genuine chemistry when I’m with him, but when I’m out of sight I feel like an afterthought. Now, just a reminder, he’s got a lot going on in his life, but much like many people would say, if someone is really feeling you, you’d know it for sure. The thing is, I still don’t know.

I’m at the point now that I feel like I’m chasing him…like I’m trying too hard and I wonder if that’s a turn off. I say that because that’s how I’m beginning to feel (just a little bit) with the guy who likes me a lot.

Now, I’ve known this other guy for years and we finally reconnected via social media 3-4 months ago. He discovered I was single and told me he’d always been attracted to me. Since then he’s been laying it on pretty thick and candidly, I’m finding that to be a turn off. What doesn’t help is that within the first few conversations, he starts talking about sex and what I like and how I like it. What the…?!? Dude, I’m not even sure I’m interested in you that way. I’m not overly responsive to his texts or phone calls and I’ve seen him once since he first reached out to me.

I recently had lunch with a girlfriend who’s also single and going through something similar. Unlike me, she’s not chasing anyone…she just figures it will die because the guy doesn’t seem serious. And we both agreed that we’re doing ourselves an injustice by settling for someone when there isn’t really chemistry on our end.

Still, I’m torn. There is a school of thought that a woman shouldn’t chase any man, but what if you feel confident that it can turn into something pretty cool? What if you think it’s cool already, but you’re getting these signs that it might just be ‘eh…” for him?

And what about the guy chasing me: do I see what unfolds even if I don’t feel that umph for him?