I’m a Thick-headed Idiot

(Author’s note: This is a longer post than normal; I typically try to keep my posts to around 500 words, but I’m not interested in doing a Part 1/Part 2 type of thing with this subject. I just want to be done with it at this point.)

So, I just wanted to provide a quick update on where I am in my search for love.

Nowhere really…

I guess I could end it there, but since this is a blog about dating, relationships, love, sex, etc. and I actually need to vent a bit (writing help me get things out of my system, I guess I can expound on things just a wee bit).

First, I do truly feel like an idiot and as an idiot, I feel like putting another idiot out of his misery as well. And I’m looking for candid advice from readers and fellow bloggers.

HER, Her and her

(Note from Mel – I am adding a new blogger to the mix. Mikey Kokoslover is a dear friend and talented artist, who writes on a broad range of topics. He wanted to write something from the heart, so…here he is.)

By Mikey Kokoslover

I met HER when I needed love. HER was unlike any other woman that I had met before (or since). We dated, we married, and had some beautiful years together.

Then life hit us hard…expectantly hard. It hit us in a way that breaks people. It broke us.

We loss the oneness of “us” and became more HER and me. More accurately, we became more HER versus me. No longer allies, we became advisories, and we developed that adversarial relationship to the fullest. It was ripe with resentment, and insurmountable emotional barriers. We argued viciously and constantly. We devolved into a downward spiral of distrust and disrespect that further devolved until we no longer understood, or liked one another. We sought comfort in others; a move that left us emotionally dying and exposed, pained and vulnerable. In the midst of that is when I found Her.

Unrequited like?!?

Being a divorced woman, like most (I suspect) I can have pretty low self-esteem at times, but in general I think I’m a pretty good catch. I’m educated, sexy, charming, pretty good in bed (or so I’ve been told) and I’ve learned some things from my marriage and romantic interactions since that has me excited about my future in the love department.

The Difficulty of Pleasing Your Woman

(Note from Mel – this is another post written by my friend, H. Samoth. I think he’s getting the hang of this…now we just have to convince him to start his own blog!)

By H. Samoth

Well, I am big in trying to please my wife. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do to satisfy her sexual desires or fantasies. Hey, I am married and the Bible says that I have the necessary license to enjoy sex with her. So whatever it takes and whatever her command sexually, I do not or would not hesitate to comply. That’s the good part.

So what’s the problem? Well, as much as I want to please her I sometimes fall short because of what I perceive in my mind as “it’s all me” sex. In other words, if I don’t initiate sex, the chances of me getting some are very slim. If I don’t put her in certain position of my desire then it’s not happening. If I lay in bed hoping that she reaches over and touches me, then hope is lost.

Sex in marriage: it should be a priority…

And if it isn’t, you might be in trouble.

Take it from someone who made the mistake of getting involved with a married man…a unhappily married man.